Cardboard Boxes and Fond Farewells

I went in to the Tesco Metro a stones throw from my flat to ask for cardboard boxes.

"What for?" said Mr Full-timer

"Im moving away." Said I

"Don't go, your such a good customer, we're going to really miss you"

Hmmm because I'm your only customer that doesn't steal but actually pays for items?

Or is it 'cause your a bleedin pervert?

And then it hit me the full extent of what I was embarking on and I thought what am I doing? I'm happy here, content even. I don't actually want to go I'm so comfortable around these Tesco guys I don't mind them oggling me when I'm hung over on a Sunday and turn up to buy milk in lastnights clothing/makeup/beergoggles 2 O'clock in the eve. And do you know what Mr Full-timer? I'm actually going to miss you. Your team and your sleazy grin. I am.

And then the sudden realisation that I detest Comfortable, give me Adventure anyday

If lifes not challenging it's not worth living.

x

I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you.

I said this to my best friends/Sisters years ago before I'd even heard this song, we've been through so much crap, it's like a stab in the heart when one of them is hurt. We share a tattoo and we've lived in each others pockets, there's never an akward silence, and to listen in on our conversation is like listening to another language. When we were young if our Mam wanted us she would shout "Farasmataz" (a mixture of all our names) because she knew we were always together and if she called one, we would all come running anyway.

All men have secrets and here is mine
So let it be known
For we have been through hell and high tide
I think I can rely on you ...
And yet you start to recoil
Heavy words are so lightly thrown
But still I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you
So, what difference does it make ?
It makes none
But now you have gone
And you must be looking very old tonight
The devil will find work for idle hands to do
I stole and I lied, and why?
Because you asked me to
But now you make me feel so ashamed
Because I've only got two hands
Well, I'm still fond of you!
So, what difference does it make?
it makes none.

We will always have each others back even if we fall out I'll always be fond of them and to this day would 'take a bullet' without a moments pause.

x

It's CHRISTMASSSSS!

Yaay with the snow, watching it on the way to work today the flakes fell in a whirl like a dance symmetrical in the space between each other accomadating one another in a waltz a beautiful downward spiral before they are crushed together in a final clinch ahhhh who knew I could get so poetic and uncaring about my grammer, it must be the Christmas in the air.

Three things that make my Christmas:

Firstly the song "Jingle Bell Rock" by Bobby Helms, the very essence of Christmas for me.

Second, watching out for the Coca Cola advert, something about the harmonised repetitive "How many days are coming? How many days are coming?" with the Falalala Lah's and the trucks rolling into town in thier military precision bringing the Christmas with them; all official like gets me really excited, it's not Christmas yet until this advert appears.

Third, watching Home Alone with my Dad, I'm not particularly attatched to the film but my Dad finds it incredibly hilarious, the parts when McCauley Caulkin plays the pranks on the crooks has him crying with laughter and he looks at me to say "Isn't that funny? Isn't that kid just the best?" and I laugh because I love watching him laugh; it makes me happy.

I have a kid sister so it's Still a special time for me.
Gonna go build myself a snowman and inevitably it's gonna die on me, but heres for trying.

x

Strong like an Amazon.

Set the scene

Day-Ext. A busy road in Knightsbridge.

Dressed in a tight skirt and heels. The suit stops in front of her with a look of awe/admiration.

She smiles confidently back at him and calmly walks away. An immense feeling of power consumes her...

thats right She's all grown up.

End Scene.

x

Besotted

besotted
adj
1. stupefied with drink; intoxicated
2. infatuated; doting
3. foolish; muddled

He knows who I am!

Times gone by and his hair is shorter , he's grown taller, he looks different but I can still point him out from a crowd. My friends say talk to him "he's so hot"

He passes me, I reach up and ruffle his hair like I've always done to tease him, and say "I've missed you."

And he replies "Where have you been?" and I laugh and die a little inside.

He's beautiful but now taken, I'm persistant and back for New Years.

Guy's talk to me but I brush them off, I only want him,

"I love the way you look soooo Seventies" A random guy remarks

"Sixties actually" I retort. Get it right, I think as I walk away.

x

Beware Untitled CD's

I came accross a blank looking CD, so I put it into the CD player and I got the biggest lump in my throat. It's a burnt disk of all the songs we used to put on before we played on stage, so many memories, alcohol fights with bands, begging ex-gangsters to play in their pub, carting my speakers around, sleeping rough, stupid haircuts, friends 'skanking' on sticky dance floors, getting in trouble for being underage, forgetting set lists, getting paid in lollypops, pogoing into each other whilst people looked on in horror...memories. The Best. I wish I'd known then what I was doing at the time was Unusual but to me it was a natural way to vent our anger.

As Stuart a la Gallows put it nicely "your nothing but glorified ASBO's" Here's a track listing:

1. What's the Matter Baby?- Small Faces

2. Shake- Small Faces

3. I Fought the Law- The Clash

4. Teenage Kicks- The Undertones

5. Kill the Poor- The Dead Kennedy's

6. Is Vic There?- Department S

7. I'm in Love With a Girl- The Freshies

8. Your Generation- Generation X

9. Eton Rifles- The Jam

10. God Save the Queen- Sex Pistols

11. Kid's are United- Sham 69

12. Typical Girls- The Slits

13. Tin Soldiers- Stiff Little Fingers

14. No More Heroes- Stranglers

15. Stranglehold On Me- UK Subs

16. He's So Fine- The Chiffons

17. Be My Baby- The Ronettes

18. Leader of the Pack- The Shangri Las

19. I Wanna Be Sedated- The Ramones

20. Police and Thieves- The Clash

x

The Society of Friends

"He said sometimes he can't remember what I look like" Said C

She's going through a painful split at the moment with someone she's been with for 3 years, He's been living in a different city for a year they barely meet anymore. I feel for her.

How different we are. I walk away without ever committing to anyone. People weren't made to be possesed.

Rally the troops, streak on the warpaint and dance like theres no tomorrow; we aim to show her the Sea.

Sometimes I feel like i'm a million different people, with different characters. I have different sets of friends that I keep in touch with at different times, if they should ever meet it would not end well: Personality Clash's and such. I've always been that girl in school that flittered between all groups chatting to everyone "Eugh why are you talking to her?" because even the Girl that smells funny and has never seen a comb in this lifetime, has something interesting to say.

I can't remember names and I struggle with faces, but if your smiling my way it's all good.

I'm having to say goodbye to all of them but I want to remain detatched till the last moment. One set have pissed me off Royal and they shan't be told untill I am gone Forever. So there.

I want to be left alone for awhile go away somewhere where nobody knows me so I can think and because I have always lived in the moment and never thought I would last this long but I did and now I have done everything I have ever dreamed of doing what' is there left for me to do that is still novel? I feel ancient at 23. But childish in demeanor. I need balance.

Going by my followers I hope none of my friends do actually read this blog, it's steadily becoming more like my diary.

x

Mannequin

Apart from the fact I'm always doing crazy stuff, the main reason why I agreed to do this is because I've always wanted to know what it felt like to be a mannequin. It was like being judged by everyone in a 5 second glance and I did start taking it to heart when people walked away dismissivly, like it was an insult to my performance in showcasing the dress.

A lot of people didn't realise I was real, so as I was getting bored I stood incredibly still and then I suddenly jerked and scared the S*** out of my poor victims. One woman jumped and screamed so bad she came rushing in and said "Your not filming are you?, it's not for a show is it?" We had to reassure her it wasn't a hoax it was to promote an evening. One of the assistants said I was 'easily amused' because I would double up in laughter everytime it happened. Observing the different reactions kept me captivated, I would so do it again.

x

The Night of Life

Now I'm pretty sure i'm still drunk, its 3am and the picture above was taken an hour ago I just wanted to express my love for Manchester Nightlife.

It's Beautiful and I'm going to miss it when I move away.
Venues are so close it's easy to walk to one place from another.
Everybody is easy to talk to and no-one is particularly pretentious.We are all one and the same.Even if you hate the music you find a beat, your friends are your entertainment and the club smells like P.E Socks but what the hey thats Manchester.

I just want to capture my journey home mainly for my own selfish reasons, partly because I hope Nobody reads this blog and realises what they are missing.

Past the Kick-a-Cab, kick the shutters and the operators will open to order you a taxi home. Deposit my friends from Salford here.

Past Jillys, avoiding the scary Metalheads,

Past the Bus stop on Oxford Road, friends living in Fallowfield make me promise to text them as soon as I get home before jumping on the blue Magic Bus (Like NO i'm perfectly invincible in my drunken stuper, no-one can harm me.)

Past the Rock Kitchen at the student Union with its Burger van parked outside with mouthwatering smells and its Rat-Eared evolved Emo's propped against the wall groaning.

Past Zoo and it's OOper Class, THE Manchester University, Toffy students that Rave with ..get this...Like, totally badass glowsticks *Snort* Ooer.

Past Domino's Pizza and the Lampost with a HasselHoff sticker on it.Legendary.I'm in awe of the person who placed this sticker here as part of my drunken journey home.Do you know how much you make my night?

Past the Dark Ardwick Park which is sometimes trawling with sinister characters which makes me run till I'm finally

HOME and dry.

I want to be like this forever
x

Daisy

I'm in two minds whether to buy this album or not.
I like what I like and I Know I'm not supposed to like this band,
But I've never given a crap to what I'm supposed to like, hence the eclectic taste of music.

I can discuss all genres of music with different social groups But the one group I can't stand are Emo's. Mainly because they sit around wallowing in self pity. My favourite pastime was screaming "Your Mum fucking hates you" at Emo's outside Urbis on weekends whilst running Kamikaze like in the opposite direction. What can I say We were easily amused.

With Brand New it's an exception, they don't whine but create beauty out of misery, surely that aint wallowing. Everytime I listen to an album I discover a different new favourite bassline/riff/sentance and every song is like walking a tightrope, dangling mid air, body tense listening to raw wounds being unashamedly Gouged open in an erratic manner. You want to look away but the human car crash is bewitching to witness from the outside.

In youth I had an even keel,
but now I'm not sure what is real.
It's taken me this long to learn,
that every dead is ate by worms,
and once they're gone, they don't return.

lorsque les proches were dying, the very same songs stopped me from being an introvert and over analysing choices that were out of my control.

For
- Winter + Dead people = Brand New
- I need to immerse myself in a good album instead of listening to one hit wonders.
- This will be their last album

Against
- Do I really want to be miserable? do I.
- I can't convince anyone to buy the album for me. I get laughed at. And I refuse to download songs from an artist I admire.
- Does this mean I am slightly Emo? and can I still save myself by refraining.

x

Infamy

"Your not new, you've been here for some time." He said "Your names in the boys toilet."

I have acute Ugly Child Syndrome I don't know what you are talking about.

Oh but Fuck. Fuckty, fuck-fuck I'm dying to see what it says.

Damn the store Cameras.

x

IPod me deaf, Please.

(gratituous M.Hannet pic)

It's been 3 whole days and I seriously think i'm going insane.

Day One:

Wow so this is what the world sounds like without my iPod, this is kinda nice. Senses are sharpened when you have all five attuned to the world.

"Cheer up love" my automatic reaction is to laugh in his face.

Do you realise how much of a cliche you are Mr Flourescent Jacket Builder man? Hmmm d'yah?

He looks stunned that I actually did what he asked.

Day Two:

I can hear my thoughts whilst i'm walking, shut up shut up shut up shut up. Inane chatter.

I slowly begin to realise I make the stupidest observations in my head which are not worth sharing. I take the back allys of Manchester as usual to get to where I want fast, avoiding the tourists.

"...Yeah i'm not to sure if I would wear BLACK AND WHITE polka dotted dress, although with them legs I wouldn't mind showing em off, 'ere love giz us a shmile, Go on"

Oh God yeah the drunkards that I normally walk past but manage to avoid hearing due to my trusty iPod.

Day Three:

Hmmm I wonder if I had the choice of being blind or deaf which I would choose. Blindness, I wouldn't ever want to go without music. (stupid headchatter stepped up a notch)

Avoiding all eye contact, starting to dress a bit (just a litttle) down, start walking with the masses. No music is seriously starting to effect my behaviour.

"Helllllooooo Sexceeeee" drawls a spotty teenager then rushes off laughing macho like with his friend. Oh God I just want to retch in your face mate.

Oh iPod, don't ever leave me again and I promise; to always keep you in the green.

x

Confiance

Depuis longtemps je voulais vous mettre en peices

Comment peux-tu me regarder dans les yeux? Pourquoi ne vous sentez coupable?

Vous avez dit toujours et thats très longtemps

Je voulais vous poinçon jusqu'à ce que vous avez vu sens,

Maintenant, les gens vous demandent et je ne sais pas quoi répondre

I dont vous avez la réponse peut être que je n'étais pas assez bon, peut-être vous could't voir à quel point j'ai essayé.

Peut-être que je n'ai jamais eu un droit chance dès le départ.

Je ne serai jamais faire confiance à nouveau

x

Challenge #2-Upper Respiratory Tract Infection

You begin to realise swiftly the people who genuinly care about you are, when you are ill.

After suffering a five hour journey back to Manchester with a pleb who kept coughing in my face, I went down. Dramatic exclamations like "Im dying! split my CD's between yourselves." are uttered to which my friends and family roll their eyes and snap "Shut up and drink the bloody medicine."

9.00am I ring in sick my Manager just replies "Well if your off sick more than three days you need to bring a sick note or else you don't get paid, you Need to bring it in." Evil Witch.

9.30am I can barely get out of bed, but manage to make myself presentable.

9.45am I stumble like a drunkard to the nearest doctors, become a 'temporary' patient.

10.00am Asma and I are falling about laughing like rejects at random things

10.30am Asma has a cigarette break

11.00am This is taking the piss; I ask the Receptionist how long? she says because i'm not registered I have to wait in the walk in queue.

11:30am Asma exclaims loudly "This is taking the mick, the NHS is a let down! is this what my tax money goes towards? I want my money back. Thats $26 I pay every month" much to everyone's amusement. The Receptionist frowns and I swear I get knocked back a few places.

12.00 I begin wondering if its not too late to call manager and work my shift instead. No I've waited this long and I refuse to leave thus Challenge #2 U.R.T.I is born.

12:30 "Taz Akhtar please make your way to Room 15" I shoot up shouting "Hallelujah!" running down the corridors before they change their mind.

12:45 "So you just wanted a sick note?" Says the mildly irratating Dr. Ngan. No shit Sherlock, I just waited hours to see your sunny features (irony: he has a face like a cafish). He starts a mock examination, which is so half hearted Asma and I start giggling when he starts using his stethascope to listen to my back.

1.00pm "I'm sure he made that last bit up, why does he need to listen to your spine?" I'm so happy I got the pictured sick note I want to frame it, I don't care if he listened to my Tailbone I still achieved what I set out to get.

Can't wait to show it off on Saturday now.

x

What does all THIS mean?

...seriously though

What DOES it all mean? What is all this?

even when i'm drunk I ponder the strangest things.


bla·sé
adj.
1. Uninterested because of frequent exposure or indulgence.
2. Unconcerned; nonchalant: had a blasé attitude about housecleaning.
3. Very sophisticated.

We got a proposition for drugs in the club, this is not normal people.
I organised a gig with lots of bands for my sisters 18th birthday party and one of the bands playing where from the south, they started joking about drugs they'd been taking in between playing songs, real blasé.
The manager of the venue stopped them short and gave them a warning.
He wasn't having any of it. There were underage kids present.

It's not cool, you end up with bad skin, dodgy dancing techniques (the Karate Kid?! need I say more?)and an even worse attention span.

Alcohol on the other hand :D

x

Penis Envy

Farha & I created this masterpeice at the Manchester Art Gallery, we like to express ourself and the theme was to create your own monster using magnetic items.
We decided to name this beauty 'Penis Envy' before running away in fits of giggles.
Yes I know...immature, but we are prone to acting like socially inept fucktards when left to our own devices. This is a Refined example of what we are normally like together. Good Times.

Besides, I think we did Proffessor Freud and my Sociology teacher (Hey Mrs Doodson!) quite proud.

Penis envy in Freudian psychoanalysis refers to the theorized reaction of a girl during her psychosexual development to the realization that she does not have a penis. Freud considered this realization a defining moment in the development of gender and sexual identity for women.

x

Pervert

Seventh heaven
n.
1. A state of great joy and satisfaction.

2. A state of extreme happiness

I totally get why men think it's okay to gawp at women now

There's a Vogue party/conference at work tonight,

The most beautiful boy/men models were stood around my concession all in a group. I swear I stood openly perving on them... then one asked me where the reception area was, "I'll show you" I practically threw myself at them. One of them smirked.

I think I was a Little Obvious. Oh well. I was in Seventh Heaven.

x

A Voyeuristic 95%.

My manager was looking at me rather queerly.

"Whats wrong? why are you acting weird?" Said I.

"Hmmm...well your not meant to know But you scored a 95% in your Mystery Shop" answered my Manager.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I can't stand my job but a part of me felt proud that I have managed to convince everyone I belong in a place like that. I'm a misfit, but so weird it's considered cool in my workplace, therefore acceptable.

Let me tell you what a Mystery Shop entails, points are scored if:

1. You have your name tag on
2. You are dressed to reflect the company
3. You approach the customer in a friendly manner as soon as they enter your mat.
4. You enquire about what they are shopping for.
5. Offer suggestions
6. Assist the customer throughout the transaction
7. Tell them about the returns policy (people are retarded and need reminding it's 14 days)
8. Say Farewell in a convincing manner. (acting sorrowfull to see them go)

There's more but I won't bore.

I Hate having people commenting on my weight, hair, youth, make-up and general appearance,because that is what I have to use to make people buy. Sometimes you just need to suck it up.

I Love making people feel special by listening to them and also dressing them up so they look beautiful. Everyone can look beautiful...in the right clothes.

To be quite honest sometimes i'm so bored getting paid to stand there like a lemon, I'll talk to anything so long as it moves, cat, dog, baby...my shadow.Anything.

I have mastered the Art of Smalltalk, and it shall come in handy in later life. (insert sarcasm here) Swell!


x

Common People.

She's in touch with her high school sweetheart

It's all going swimmingly...

"...He said next year he's going to be in The Gentleman's Club."- A

"Oh whats one of them?" said I

"I dunno. Apparently Cambridge told him they wanted someone common and he's from Manchester so they decided to have him in the Club." said A

and then I had doubts it could ever happen.

He's a straight A Cambridge student with a 'posh' accent and she is a pretty punk ass kid with a case of 'too much too young'.

West Side Story much?

On second thoughts I do quite fancy doing the finger clicking dance, whilst pulling some sharp, synchronised ballet moves.

x

Banging.

v. banged, bang·ing, bangs
v.tr.
1. To strike heavily and often repeatedly; bump.
2. To close suddenly and loudly; slam.
3. To handle noisily or violently: banged the pots in the kitchen.
4. Vulgar Slang To have sexual intercourse with.

I was walking through Victoria Train Station when a group of Chavs passing me started shouting "Your well banging, you" "Oi oi you look really fine"

So I give them an apologetic look as to say 'Sorry mate, your barking up the wrong tree, I prefer my guys with a little tact' and then another look to say 'Pffft! I know. I'm crazy like that'

Last year I was walking through the Arndale Shopping centre and a scarily grotesque Chav stops in front of me and states "I'd give her a SIX Yeah a definate SIX OUT OF TEN" to which I die of embarrasment as everyone turns to stare at the mere Six, the girl short of FOUR who will sadly never make it with the Grotesque Chav. Shame.

I must at least be a SEVEN now that I am 'banging'

x

Black-Holes for Souls.

So I start from the beginning

Two years ago a whole bunch of us went to see Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster when they came to Manchester, It was brilliant. There was an aftershow party with more local bands playing, cheap drinks etc etc. I saw a 'girl' she must have been about 28years old outside the venue, she was a Indie scene girl with a Lego haircut. I approached her and asked her politely where the aftershow was.

I will never forget her eyes, they were dead. Dark, flat, unflinching cold eyes, she treated me with cool indifference, I remember being shocked in the way she was talking to me. I felt sad because her attitude implied she followed bands quite alot and this is what she had been reduced to, it scared me so much I just wanted to get away from her. I never wanted to become like her. Indifferent. If the eyes were the windows to the soul hers would have been like looking down into endless dark water.

So

We went to Catch in Shoreditch last night, it started off fun, music was good and then a whole load of different people started coming through the door. Thats when I started to notice something rather peculiar, everytime I caught someone's eyes they had the same expression as the Indifferent Girl. Black-holes for souls. I started to get a bit freaked out. I'd ended up with people I'd sworn I never wanted to be like. These kids were EMPTY and life had done that to them. Maybe I was next.

At that point I missed my friends so much, we never cared for posers we gladly made fools of ourselves, we liked to express ourselves, we had fun. I sat tight for awhile and then tried to find a friend to say goodbye to. As I was making my way through the crowd the hollow eyed people purposefully stood in my way, I got claustrophobic so began physically pushing them away from me.

I just wanted to run and run and run and Run so fast it hurt to breathe.

I couldn't explain myself on the tube ride home,
so I just sat mute and reassured myself better.

I'm a punk, and even though I don't look it, I will always be a punk at heart. I will keep on feeling and expressing myself in the loudest possible manner, and I will keep my soul shining and sparkly for all to see thank you very much.

x

I Miss Him...

...because of the memories He invokes

I'm so incredibly glad I was a gobby teenager, if I hadn't turned and talked to Him outside the Academy that day, I would have missed out on a memorable friendship which led to fantastical adventures we shared.

He's back in touch and all I want to do is hug his puny little body and shriek like an overexcited chimpanzee whilst pogoing madly like a maniac.

x

The Family Meeting

My Dad is a really random guy, growing up he had some strange sayings

"Don't laugh too much you have to make up for it later in tears"

Now thats just some sinister Karma right there

"Never trust Ginger people, they have reasons to be angry"

W-What? how does that even make sense?

"Never lend, borrow or take anything off a person and you will always avoid fights and fallouts"

This priceless advice is just encouraging mean and tightfisted behaviour.

There was a lot more but I've forgotten them, everytime we were naughty we had a 'Family Meeting' all the kids biggest to smallest lined up against the couches and then when we were all present Dad said "Sit".

Then we knew someone had broken furniture, burnt the carpet, hurt a sibling etc. etc. "If you confess now it will save everyone else time" But we never did grass each other up, it was just The Code. To be a Grass would cast you an outsider of the clan, word would spread and immunity would be exempt until you proved your loyalty usually in the form of slavery.

Thats when the philosophy would spew out, like a lecture from hell, this would last for hours (seriously!) until we all wilted and Mam picked up the smallest and led them away feigning an excuse.

This was no use for me, I was the fourth eldest and the most patient, so if it was me in the wrong The Philosophy Lecture could last all night, until finally...

..."It was Me!"

I'd crack.

x

Hell Now Recruiting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y3z8bZtyvo

x

"But Lynette doesn't Die."

Entrance
tr.v. en·tranced, en·tranc·ing, en·tranc·es
1. To put into a trance.
2. To fill with delight, wonder, or enchantment: a child who was entranced by a fairy tale. See Synonyms charm, enrapture.

Today I learnt my area manager Lynette died on Tuesday.
This won't mean anything to anyone, unless you worked with her.
She was celebrating her 40th Birthday and crashed her car dying instantly, she didn't have children but she left behind a partner.

Lynette was a woman I admired, she had platinum blonde hair, was extremely tall and power dressed to the hilt. When she walked onto the shop floor she entranced, yes Entranced, customers into buying a whole outfit without breaking a sweat. She was charismatic, but unaware of the fact.

For the last year or so I have been leaving daily figures on her answerphone hoping she didn't pick up because when she chatted to you, she was Uber cheerfull, talking to her no matter how much you tried you always sounded depressed. Last week I transferred a grey dress out of the store for her uniform, I wonder if she wore it?

Morbid.

When my manager told me the first thing I said was "Lynette can't die, she doesn't do dying"
My sister daid "Your weird, everyone always dies around you, Freak."

The thing that makes me really sad is no-one will ever know what I mean and what I am trying to convey.

I just wish everyone would stop dying now, it is seriously desensitivising me.
x

Challenge #01-Pregnancy.

I got my hair cut at a random salon in Manchester, (I don't believe in going to the same hairdresser more than once)
It was really quiet so I started to panic; like what do I talk to her about?
If I leave the pregnant silence will she think I am stuck up? Will this turn into hate and therefore a bad haircut?
This brings me out into a cold sweat, it's my birthday soon and I dont want Bad Hair in pictures which will later remind me of my inability to converse in idle chat with a Chav, like a smug 'If only' leaving my family to shake their head in dissapointment, like a 'I thought I raised you better' lecture.

Anyway, in my head I set myself a challenge to learn something about her.

"The weather's nice" says Taz

"Yeah, it's a good week for Pride Festival...." says pregnant looking Chav

Thank God I didn't ask her when she was due, she tells me she's been trying to lose weight...Sh**!

"What's Your name?" says Chav

"Taz"

"Oh you remind me of my primary school friend, I thought you were her, she's called Stephanie"

Hmmmmmm? Really?

She ends up telling me her whole life-story, I get up my hair looks brilliant.
Mission accomplished.
...and I think I made a firm friend.

x

"But I'm Idiot Savant, don't you know?"

n., pl. idiot savants.

An intellectually disabled person who exhibits extraordinary ability in a highly specialized area, such as mathematics or music.

[French : idiot, idiot + savant, learned.]

I wish I told this to my teachers when they tried to force facts onto me,If only...

I might just explain this concept to my younger sister maybe she will put it to good use.

x

A Letter From The Dead.

I went home to visit the Family and whilst sifting through my ex-belongings
(i.e crap I leave at my parents) I came accross my High School leavers book.

The impression I got was that I was a joker and a bit of a class clown, I was unofficially crowned The Queen of Choas, some mentioned incidents were borderline criminal! I set fire to Jason's blazer in a science lab, set off fire alarms to get out of P.E. pretended to be a foreign exchange student whenever we had a Supply teacher, Skipped school to go to the cinema complex etc etc.

Classmates and teachers mentioned how much I smiled, which is really weird because I am never happy enough to smile nowadays. Sad fact, Im more clued up now about what life has to offer, whereas back then I was carefree and naive.

So I get halfway to the end of the book and there is a letter from one of my friends that died when we were 17, a year after she signed the book. I get all numb and achey (?!) I'd forgotten all about it. Joining High school was a traumatic time because I didnt know anyone and we became instant friends because we shared the same surname and always sat next to each other even though we were in different sets because she wasn't the brightest person.

She never had a first kiss, she never read a book outside of the school curriculum, she never appreciated Art, she never fell in Love.She will never get Married, never have children... and the list goes on...she could have become a beautician, she could have had a Fiat and had a breathtaking moment where she saw the beauty of life.

Her letter makes me appreciate my life and if I were to die now I would be grateful I was able to acheive everything I have ever dreamed of.

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Pull me Close from the base of my Spine.

Archaeologists in Italy have unearthed two skeletons thought to be 5,000 to 6,000 years old, locked in an embrace. From the Neolithic period were discovered outside Mantua, about 40km (25 miles) south of Verona. The pair, almost certainly a man and a woman, are thought to have died young as their teeth were mostly intact, said chief archaeologist Elena Menotti. The burial site was discovered during construction work for a factory building.

“It’s an extraordinary case,” said Ms. Menotti. “There has not been a double burial found in the Neolithic period, much less two people hugging - and they really are hugging.”

Flint tools, including arrowheads and a knife, were also found alongside the couple.
Scientists will now study the skeletons and artifacts to work out how and when the two people died, Ms. Menotti said.

“I must say that when we discovered it, we all became very excited,” she said. “I’ve been doing this job for 25 years. I’ve done digs at Pompeii, all the famous sites but I’ve never been so moved because this is the discovery of something special,” she said.

Italy won’t split up its Stone Age “lovers.”

I was restless last night, so I wrote a song till early morning like a woman possessed about my first kiss & how I was cheated. I was Complacent at work and left without anyone noticing I'd arrived.

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The Music or the Misery?

I'm incredibly bored so I 'borrowed' my housemates copy of High Fidelity by Nick Hornby, whats funny is I got to a part where one character refuses to sell a customer a copy of Stevie Wonders 'I Just Called to Say I Love You', and I got a sense of DeJaVu like i'd seen the scene in a film.

After iMBding the title I recall vaguely watching Jack Black playing out the scene...anyway thats not what im getting at.

The main character picked up on listening to certain music and stuff Ive been thinking about lately, like are you sad because you listen to sad music? Would I be happy if I listened to non-stop pop?

I've noticed lately Ive stopped completely listening to punk because it makes me scowl thinking about how tough I have it (when I wouldn't have it any other way :D "its character building"). I can no longer listen to Joy Division it makes me think my 'Oh dear, whats the point?' thoughts-Not good.

So I listen to Echo and the Bunnymen- because to me its nonsical, I listen to the Eighties they were fun times-unashamed pop, glamorous synth bands, new wave artists floating in unsure fields. I listen to Stockholm Monsters because they are cute (imagine playing a recorder and a trumpet in a band nowadays- tut tut soooo unCool, we musn't try to think too far from the constricting confines of indie coolness) Cocteu Twins are beautiful sounding and Sonic Youth jolt me awake.

The results are i'm afraid; I am a much more happy, relaxed, fun person to be around. Like taking a holiday from myself. Although i'm not sure I can live entirely withought a dose of The Clash every now and then.

RIP Les Paul

Known as "the Thomas Edison of the music industry", Les Paul pioneered multi-tracking – whereby instruments in a band or orchestra are recorded through separate, independently adjustable channels – and overdubbing, in which additional sound or music can be added after the original recording is made.

Before the invention of the microchip, before even the transistor, Les Paul was adapting the guitar with electronics – warping notes, experimenting with echo and feedback, and twiddling knobs to alter its sound.

Yet he had no training whatsoever in either electronics or music. None the less, he is responsible for an instrument that has carved his name in the annals of music – the Gibson Les Paul – which became the guitar of choice for stars of the rock and pop era.

Although I only ever was able to afford an Epiphone Les Paul this was the first ever guitar model I desperatly wanted to buy because my all time hero Steve Jones played one. But when I did finally manage to buy one it broke my back to play a full set with it :D

Another Inspiring person dead. Not a good year.
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Disenchanted.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9c2we_disenchanted_shortfilms

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Paper Thin Skin.

Translucent

adjective

1. permitting light to pass through but diffusing it so that persons, objects, etc., on the opposite side are not clearly visible: Frosted window glass is translucent but not transparent.
2. easily understandable; lucid: a translucent explication.
3. clear; transparent: translucent seawater.

I especially despise it when my Mother grabs hold of my hand and massages it, dramatising how thin I am, do I remember to eat, am I changing my bedsheets, do I stay out too late etc,

Yes Mam I am 22 Going On 23 AND Doing Just Fine.

Don't get me wrong this isn't a adolescent strop, I just don't like being touched is all.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RIP John Hughes

John Hughes, director of many 80s teen movies died today at the age of 59.

He was out for a morning walk when he suffered a heart attack and died, he was quite prolific in the movie industry. He directed and wrote movies such as Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles and Pretty in Pink.

Some of the classics that inspired my fashion sense and also wanting to alter clothes (sometimes horrifically)

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Inside, I am Dancing.

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Family

This picture sums up my Family for me
I Love them more than Life & then some.

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Intriguing Woman.

in⋅trigue 
 /v. ɪnˈtrig; n. ɪnˈtrig, ˈɪntrig/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [v. in-treeg; n. in-treeg, in-treeg] Show IPA verb, -trigued, -tri⋅guing, noun
Use intriguing in a Sentence
–verb (used with object)
1.
to arouse the curiosity or interest of by unusual, new, or otherwise fascinating or compelling qualities; appeal strongly to; captivate: The plan intrigues me, but I wonder if it will work.
2.
to achieve or earn by appealing to another's curiosity, fancy, or interest: to intrigue one's way into another's notice.
3.
to draw or capture: Her interest was intrigued by the strange symbol.

Clouds

Pretty Sharp hmmm?

came back from work exhausted and saw this in the sky.

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Pure Genius.

R.I.P

Countless hours I spent watching this geezer in admiration wondering how on earth one man can have so much talent. Blame It On The Boogie still makes me laugh so much when it randomly pops up on my IPod, my instant cheer-up song,
OK so rant over and I know I sound like a weird Jackson fan but he truely is :

A Musical Icon personified in my eyes.

Summer with Florence.

My summer holidays as a child spent reading and hanging out in woods,

Befriending an old lady called Florence (nicknamed Ms Nightingale) who chose me from a group of friends, saved her deserts to give to me and kept me entertained for hours telling me about her beloved family that never visited.

I came back next summer and they told me she was dead,

my first dealing with death, i didnt quite understand.

so I waited outside for her until finally Her empty chair said everything.

A View from a Plane

This is a view from an aeroplane, the light was blinding my eyes.

This is how I imagine heaven will look and if so i will always be awestruck.

No Fun

i must remember not to laugh at my friend on the next concession
doing ballet
at 8pm
whilst heavily drugged
and calling her performance
"you know the one thats called The Swan on the Lake?"

*Note i don't condone the use of substances, I laugh at people influenced.