Insensitivity and Increasing. Fast.

adj.
1. Not physically sensitive; numb.
2.
a. Lacking in sensitivity to the feelings or circumstances of others; unfeeling.
b. Lacking in responsiveness: insensitive to the needs of the customers.


I used to label it 'Punk' but last night after seriously upsetting people and not being able to understand why, I realise I just don't care.

I stopped caring a long time ago, something snapped and I switched it off when I realised nobody actually really cares if Your hurting, you just get on with it and move on. And thats the crucial part. It's safer to be able to walk away intact with a shrug and a laquered smile, and say I didn't care anyway.

Theres a greek saying that it's the people with the perfect exterior that have the biggest storm brewing inside. They have more to hide.

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Clarity

n.
1. Clearness of appearance: the clarity of the mountain air.
2. Clearness of thought or style; lucidity: writes with clarity and perception.

I got Bored. Again. So chucked them all away.
Some went willingly the other put up a fight "That sucks I really wanted to get to know you if you can fit me into your schedule is someone telling you to say this what are you doing in April will you let me know if you change your mind"

I did blame it on the creative process of Music, its All consuming and All i'm passionate about. But honestly I really can't stand myself when I treat them like shit,I'm a real Jekyll and Hyde character and if I can't play nicely I shouldn't play at all.

It's stupid of me to assume I can play act out a 'normal' relationship.

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"Screw you too Doll"

He sneered

Oh No its all going wrong.
The Joy and I ended up in Shoreditch waiting for a bus in the early hours of the morning, drunk on absinth and strawberry cocktails.
"I think your Fine. Y'know like in the 50's sense" This for some reason did't go down to well with me. Fine is on par to Good or Nice.
"Well I think your cute in the fact that you think your the only one right now." His face clouded and we escalated into a blazing row, arms waving voices raised the full works.
I finally storm off like a petulant child crossing the road in my usual eyes closed I-have-a-deathwish type manner. And he comes running after me drags me into an island in the middle of the road and up against rails.
Its a mixture of pleasure and pain as my face stings from where his stubble has scratched, leaving an imprint hours later.
"What are you doing?"
"Keeping you from getting run over."
"But theres no cars"
"Ok then persuading you to stay"
I tell him I'm fine and he calls me strange because that's how it all started.
"Screw you" I walk. I do this on my terms and when I want.
Everything is so messed up right now.

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Dark Humour

One is for Money.
Two for the Joy
Three?

...well Three is claiming what is rightfully yours.

He is so eager and I am so willing.

I think I'm going to like it here in London town.

I've never been so busy

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