"You are All Over my Mind"

Love.Love.Love.

Abandon

Cigerette Kisses

secret smiles

x

The Knight

"You have to get back out there he really likes you and wants to buy you a drink!"
This one was pre-approved by my friend A in the toilets of The Old Blue Last just as I put the phone down on a dissagreement with The Joy.
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It was the most perfect night after what was becoming a situation that was going downhill fast. Everyone else & their petty issues melted away when he arrived by my side. We sat in the night and talked. He paced & I listened.

He told me how nervous he was of ruining everything and saying something stupid. He told me I was beautiful and that he knew I was different to other girls as soon as I started talking. He said I could have any guy if I wanted and couldn't understand why I was with him. He told me he had been searching forever for a girl that he could hold an interesting conversation with and understand him. He told me how refreshing it was to meet someone who was passionate about music and still naive about the business. He said I was charming. He talked about how inadequate he felt writing lyrics when he knew songs like Morrisey's existed. He told me he was going to be thinking about me all week & he thanked me.

& I listened. I don't think he realised how much of an impression he had made on me, instead he took my guitar case and led me home.

His words were stripped of pretense-desire & I will treasure them forever.

x

Liberation for Women

...thats what I preach.

Stranglers, a decent punk band. Good line. Obviously used in a different context to theirs, nevertheless I mean it when I say I admire strong women.

But Oh my gosh they can be a wicked bunch of hags, trodding over each other to get what they want, using sly comments to maim, putting one another down. For what reason I can Not quite fathom. Don't really partake in this pastime myself.Promising the world but never delivering.Why would you do that? It's a waste of everyones time.
This week I have witnessed the most horrendous female treatment to myself and others I want to hang my own head in shame for our gender.

It's a pity I love helping people that need me, it gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing...but now I feel my genorosity is being taken the piss out of. It was Liberating to walk away, to know I now have only myself to rely on & I can never fail myself its just not an option.

x

Nothing.

"What do you do?" He asked me politely.

"Nothing." I replied in a guilty manner like I'd been caught out doing something naughty.

"Nothing? You must do something"
I wish I knew what that something was...

"Im kinda waiting on my sisters so I can get my band started again."

My response was without thinking but it pretty much summed up how I've been feeling since moving to London in terms of productivity. Nothing.

Visual terms: No man's land complete with omnious mist, crates and barbed wire. Like stumbling around with no idea of what to expect and occasionally tripping over insignificant foreign objects just to get up & start again.

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Klass

"Get it, man... Nobody in our class protects Joosep"

The Estonian drama centres around Joosep and Kaspar, two average school kids under threat from vicious class bullies. The pair decide to unite against their tormentors, with bloody and shocking results.

Just watched this movie, it kinda shocked me. I wonder what I would do in this situation, there's a scene where after bullies have stolen his expensive trainers he has to explain to his teacher why he is shoeless, he lies and says the brand didn't suit him. Joosep then cuts the Le Coq Sportif cockerel off his shirt and claims "I am not a label, now everyone can see me for what I really am. Joosep."

It really bought home the impact a brand can have in terms of making you acceptable in your social group, like a shield protecting you or adding layers to our personalities.

I sometimes feel a Deviant when walking around Knightsbridge with my giant metallic font Fred Perry bag like a 'f*** you! yes I may have to wear a knee length skirt but that doesn't mean I'll wear a £5,000 Mulberry bag to fit in with you Fu**tards.'

Some ladies physically shy away from me bodies turning concave so as not to catch my insanity, its quite funny to experience the repulsion. Good Times.

x