Black-Holes for Souls.

So I start from the beginning

Two years ago a whole bunch of us went to see Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster when they came to Manchester, It was brilliant. There was an aftershow party with more local bands playing, cheap drinks etc etc. I saw a 'girl' she must have been about 28years old outside the venue, she was a Indie scene girl with a Lego haircut. I approached her and asked her politely where the aftershow was.

I will never forget her eyes, they were dead. Dark, flat, unflinching cold eyes, she treated me with cool indifference, I remember being shocked in the way she was talking to me. I felt sad because her attitude implied she followed bands quite alot and this is what she had been reduced to, it scared me so much I just wanted to get away from her. I never wanted to become like her. Indifferent. If the eyes were the windows to the soul hers would have been like looking down into endless dark water.

So

We went to Catch in Shoreditch last night, it started off fun, music was good and then a whole load of different people started coming through the door. Thats when I started to notice something rather peculiar, everytime I caught someone's eyes they had the same expression as the Indifferent Girl. Black-holes for souls. I started to get a bit freaked out. I'd ended up with people I'd sworn I never wanted to be like. These kids were EMPTY and life had done that to them. Maybe I was next.

At that point I missed my friends so much, we never cared for posers we gladly made fools of ourselves, we liked to express ourselves, we had fun. I sat tight for awhile and then tried to find a friend to say goodbye to. As I was making my way through the crowd the hollow eyed people purposefully stood in my way, I got claustrophobic so began physically pushing them away from me.

I just wanted to run and run and run and Run so fast it hurt to breathe.

I couldn't explain myself on the tube ride home,
so I just sat mute and reassured myself better.

I'm a punk, and even though I don't look it, I will always be a punk at heart. I will keep on feeling and expressing myself in the loudest possible manner, and I will keep my soul shining and sparkly for all to see thank you very much.

x