A Voyeuristic 95%.

My manager was looking at me rather queerly.

"Whats wrong? why are you acting weird?" Said I.

"Hmmm...well your not meant to know But you scored a 95% in your Mystery Shop" answered my Manager.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I can't stand my job but a part of me felt proud that I have managed to convince everyone I belong in a place like that. I'm a misfit, but so weird it's considered cool in my workplace, therefore acceptable.

Let me tell you what a Mystery Shop entails, points are scored if:

1. You have your name tag on
2. You are dressed to reflect the company
3. You approach the customer in a friendly manner as soon as they enter your mat.
4. You enquire about what they are shopping for.
5. Offer suggestions
6. Assist the customer throughout the transaction
7. Tell them about the returns policy (people are retarded and need reminding it's 14 days)
8. Say Farewell in a convincing manner. (acting sorrowfull to see them go)

There's more but I won't bore.

I Hate having people commenting on my weight, hair, youth, make-up and general appearance,because that is what I have to use to make people buy. Sometimes you just need to suck it up.

I Love making people feel special by listening to them and also dressing them up so they look beautiful. Everyone can look beautiful...in the right clothes.

To be quite honest sometimes i'm so bored getting paid to stand there like a lemon, I'll talk to anything so long as it moves, cat, dog, baby...my shadow.Anything.

I have mastered the Art of Smalltalk, and it shall come in handy in later life. (insert sarcasm here) Swell!


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