The Knight rings and I drop everything to go see him. I should hate him but he looks so happy to see me my plan to shout at him for being an idiot slips my mind, quietly.
He's so pathetically inebriated there's nothing I can do but grasp his hand and laugh at his silly attempts to kiss every part of my face. We go somewhere quiet to talk his words are the same they are getting old I'm begining to get exasperated with the situation.Sorry is becoming a theme in the conversation. His words don't mean anything to me, his actions on the other hand tell me everything he is mixed up he changes his mind All the time, he does miss me or else he wouldn't have cracked and called me first. But he also knows he can't hold on to me forever.
I ask him if it is the drugs he neither confirms nor denies anything,I don't know what to think anymore. I want everything laid out to me in simple terms so the next time round I can excuse his shitty behaviour and there will be a reasonable explanation.
I don't know why I expected to be with a 'normal' person, I'm far from that myself.
We inevitably end up at his place, I love his room he has a dead plant that he has decorated with lights and kept because he felt guilty of killing it. It's all white and tidy the total opposite to what my bedroom is like. We always joke I'm only with him for his giant t.v because I havent seen any since January. It's one of the reasons.
I torment him in the worst way with what could have been happening if he hadn't decided to call it quits. "Your evil" no your an idiot and deserve everything your going through "You think it's going to be easy? you turn up and I'm going to be like 'Lets go to bed' Not that simple. I'm just giving you a little something to think about next time you want to even consider putting me last."
He's more Mine than he thinks he is
x
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